You’re an Optimist if stop thinking it can’t get worse – it can & will

You’re an Optimist if stop thinking it can’t get worse – it can & will

Clearly the title seems to make no sense.: optimists are normally considered those who only see blue skies and don’t bring umbrellas with them when the sky gets overcast. Well, I don’t consider that optimism – I consider that naive, delusional and disconnected from reality in a very unhealthy way. I also consider this normal optimism as a kind of arrogance and a lack of imagination. If that sounds a little harsh, I am sorry, but I often see “the road to hell is paved with good intentions” by good people who mean well and am sad when I have to agree with cynics who are at least mature enough to face some reality. So let’s move onto my version of optimism stated in the title.

Several times in my life I have either personally experienced, or had close friends experience, events that we much worse than I could possibly imagine and this lack of imagination ended up causing a lot of pain and suffering that I believe was avoidable. In other words, misplaced optimism can be considered both a lack of imagination and secondly a lack of bravery. Sometimes we must be able to accept the possibility that whatever life problem you have could be really, really bad; so bad that it’s just plain nasty. Accepting this kind of nasty seems to infer that the world is a nasty place and those of us who strive for peace and goodness and joy find that a tough call. But it is a call that must be made because once you accept that nasty is part of life it starts not to look so nasty – it’s just another part of life that can, with effort and a new way of perceiving it, be transformed into goodness and personal growth.

Take rain as an example. Most of us don’t like rainy days, but we all know that without rain plants don’t grown and our wells go dry. We need rain. We benefit from cold too – it kills a lot of nasty bugs and keeps many illnesses and diseases away and even hurricanes. Take Zika virus as an example, it can only exist in tropical zones and I am thankful to suffer through tough winters to keep it away. The same way of thinking can help us not only survive but eventually thrive as the ecological and social death forces we have unleashed upon the world do their murderous work. Only a true optimist will admit that the destruction we are doing of the world and ourselves is far, far worse than the papers report. In fact, it’s far, far worse than most of us can imagine because the death of billions is a thought, if we really let our heart and emotions experience it as reality – that is over-whelming and can only cause despair and hopelessness and thoughts of suicide. Clearly this state of being is not desired by any of us or helpful in any way.

So what are we to do? To not have enough imagination or courage to see how tremendously terrible our situation is to invite the disaster we fear to actually happen. I believe that only optimism of the kind I am talking about here will allow us to psychically survive. We must learn to face how bad the mess is that we have made while simultaneously seeing that if we made the mess – we can clean it up. We can choose not to participate in this death march. We can choose to be good and smile and laugh and see the best in people and the joy in living for all creation. We must see optimism as going through the eye of the needle where all of reality is necessary for future life – especially the really nasty bits. Thus, accepting the nasty of life, especially those that are worse than you can imagine, is what allows us to be free and capable and courageous enough to make life affirming changes that may seem crazy to normal folks.

A good example of what I mean is the gallows humour that allows doctors and nurses to help sick people – many of whom die in their care, without becoming depressed or giving up. I know some of them well and they tell me that it’s not that they are callous about to the suffering of the folks under their care – it’s just that they accept that life and death go hand in hand. They do their best – but they also know they are not God. We all die, but of course they know that while we are here on Earth living well means that we help each other as best we can to life well and die with dignity. Life is precious and the greatest gift – but only if we accept that is it very, very temporary and only truly enjoyed when we help each other and share in the joy of the moment called our life.

So, how can you become this kind of optimist? Laugh – a lot. Smile even more. Charge into the battle of life knowing its dangerous but knowing the most dangerous thing you can do is avoid life by avoiding its challenges. Facing the challenges of life, “the nasties”, knowing that it can get even worse, is the only way we can make things better. That’s my brand of optimism and I hope you will consider making it yours.