Our Suicidal Culture

Our Suicidal Culture

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem

It’s a perfect day. So, being retired, I continued reading a perfectly written book – “The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry” to make the perfect day completely perfect. Then, bang, on page 284 it happened: I learned that Harold’s son had committed suicide 20 years in the past. It took the wind right out of me, partly because the book had been, until this point, a light and whimsical story that was clearly avoiding the more nasty bits of life. Suddenly I was back in reality; to a world where a felon and serial liar like Trump is the most powerful man in the world; where GHG emissions are increasing after most nations congratulated themselves for signing the Paris Accord and vowed to be net zero by 2050. Both are laughable events. The second especially is suicide. Although we think of suicide as terrible and rare, it turns out that many people “seem to” see it as a way out of their problems and I even think that entire cultures, like ours, appear to behave unconsciously in suicidal ways.

So let’s explore this idea that suicide is part of apparent “choices” we make both for individuals and cultures, consciously sometimes and unconsciously other times. Let’s begin with this simple fact: more people die by suicide from guns than by being shot and it is the 11th-leading cause of death overall in the USA. Over 27,032 people died by firearm suicide, 19,651 died by firearm homicide. Now to emphasize the point that suicide is actually a greater danger than homicide the CDC says over 49,000 died from suicide in 2022, 1.6 million attempted suicide and 13.2 million seriously thought

about it as a good option for their problems. [1] Why is that so many Americans [Cdns are not that different] “choose” suicide as an option.

First off, our assumption that “suicide is a selfish choice” is wrong.[2] But how can that be – given the unbearable loss and pain felt by those left behind, how can suicide not be considered selfish?”

First, those who experience the kind of emotional pain associated with suicide do not typically want to die; they wish for an end to unbearable emotional pain and, often, the resources that allow them to hold on aren’t available. Individuals who struggle with thoughts of suicide usually have a hard time thinking flexibly and their ability to see an end to pain and a life worth living is greatly compromised. Second, viewing suicide as a choice promotes the misunderstanding that people who engage in suicidal behavior are selfish. Selfishness has been defined by Merriam-Webster as “seeking or concentrating on one’s own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others.” Suicide does not generate pleasure, advantage or well-being. People who take their own lives commonly feel like a burden to others or experience intense emotional pain that overwhelms their capacity to continue with life. Making others feel guilty is typically the furthest thing from their mind. Third, a choice usually involves making a selection based on multiple factors or preferences. Sadly, an inability to make rational, life-affirming decisions is a hallmark of suicidal thinking. Intense emotion pain, hopelessness and a narrowed, negative view of the future interferes with balanced decision-making. [2]

So, what does all this tell us about our societies suicidal behaviour, as exemplified by climate disaster, human caused 6^th mass extinction, & the myriad of other activities we are now doing which is tearing the fabric of life to pieces? First, given that all these problems are going to result in lots and lots of death and that we KNOW we are doing it I think we can safely call what we are doing suicide. Second, based upon what we know about why individuals commit suicide we can safely say that humanity is suffering from chronic emotional pain with a deep disconnection from other people and the natural works; is feeling hopeless and helpless [lacks agency] about the future; is focused on the negative bits of the world and certainly see the future as darker than the past. Third, given that individuals who commit suicide are famous for [almost always] giving warning signs. Some of the warning signs from the Mayo clinic are listed below. [3]

Being preoccupied with death, dying or violence.

Changing regular routine, including eating or sleeping patterns.

Developing personality changes or being severely anxious or agitated, particularly when experiencing some of the warning signs listed above.

Doing risky or self-destructive things, such as using drugs or driving recklessly.

Feeling trapped or hopeless about a situation.

Getting the means to take your own life, such as buying a gun or stockpiling pills. Having mood swings; being emotionally high one day & deeply discouraged the next. Increasing use of alcohol or drugs. Withdrawing from social contact and wanting to be left alone.

Fourth, look at this list: does it not apply to our culture as whole? I think so. However, there is the one important difference: individuals know they are committing suicide, our society does not. Many people know that things are not quite right, and I mean not right in a very deep way, but they don’t the deeper cause of what they see as a problem [eg. high food prices] and certainly don’t see their behaviour as leading to social collapse in the near future.

Now given that any answer to what we can do to stop our suicidal behaviour is well beyond the scope of this little paper I think the above leaves us with two questions:

1. Can we help people be conscious of the fact that we are committing suicide?

2. Can we reduce emotional suffering, angst, isolation, anxiety, lack of agency, etc. That is driving us towards behaviours and values that destroy life and make us incapable of changing our current suicidal way of life?

So what can you do? Try to find answers to these two questions and, of course, help those who are feeling despair and are acting in ways that, unknown to them, are suicidal as described above. Most importantly, take care of yourself by loving life and loving your family and friends and the natural world around you because then you have a good chance of seeing what’s good in life instead of what is wrong with it. Once you see more good than bad you and I have a chance, however slight, of being part of the great turning around from death back to life where suicide is averted. We do that by telling a different story that makes life a joy rather then a veil of tears.