Stop being a Grumpy Old Man!
Have you noticed yourself or a friend turning into a grumpy old man? Of course you have! Sadly, it is normal to become grumpy with old age. So why are you grumpy and why do you complain when you don’t want to? Here are the answers to this question. Now, as I become an old man myself, I too wondered how I can avoid this all too common pitfall of old age. Before we do the deep dive you may be wondering what this topic has to do with the social-environmental mission of the CDN. Club of Rome. Good question. The reason is this: many decision makers are old men, so that means many important decisions are made by grumpy men. We all know that if were are grumpy we see the cup half empty instead of half full, we only see what is wrong rather than what is right, and are allowing [without admitting to it] our emotions to dominate our rationality. So, if you are in danger of becoming a grumpy old man [GOM] or know somebody who is in such danger, this is article for you!
First thing you can do: watch a silly movie and grumpy old men and recognize how they are sometimes ridiculous and sometimes brilliant and sometimes tragic. Watch ‘Grumpy old Men’. Watch ‘The Bucket List’. Watch ‘About Schmidt’. Watch “Nebraska”.
Second ask your wife or brother/sister or best friend if you or a friend you are concerned about is turning into a GOM. Now it will be a challenge to get an honest answer, but persevere. If everybody says that you are not, in any way, a GOM – that actually means you probably are – they are just too afraid of your response to tell you the truth.
Third, recognize and accept this harsh fact: your testosterone level is decreasing drastically. Every day you have less and less and it takes away the drive, the ambition, the ability to laugh in the face of danger that made you the “real man” that women [and hopefully your wife] went crazy over. Yes, you are no longer a handsome hunk. Yes, you now have trouble opening a can with a can opener. Yes, you can barely get out of bed in the morning because you joints are so stiff that you can hear them creak when you move. Yes, you have to get up to pee several times during the night. Suck it up. Too bad for you – your alternative is to be 6 feet under, so really, any day you have the energy to complain about how rough and unfair life is too you is a great day!
Now that you’ve accepted the bad news here is the good news: you are now free to actually become the thoughtful, caring, disciplined, organized and wise being that your thought you were – but were not because your testosterone got in the way. You can stop being a victim of your biology and face the ultimate test of life: can you die well? Can you run the last lap and win the race? Can you become the guy who always wanted to be, but until now, had failed to be? Can you leave the stage of human society with a standing ovation? Can you get up every morning and say “Thanks for another great day” and really mean it? Can you truly believe, in spite of all that you know and have experienced on how profoundly stupid [like you] can be, that the world is not going to hell in a handbasket? Can you look outside after a snowstorm that has trapped you in your house because the guy you hired to plough your driveway has not come yet and say: “yes, the world is a mess, but it is a beautiful mess and has always been a beautiful mess.”
Can you recognize that the world has not really changed – the only thing that has changed is you. You are old. You cannot do anything you want like you could when you were young. You are now reliant on others and you really don’t like that. When you were young you figured you can change and challenges to overcome– as a matter of fact, the greater the challenge the more fun! Now that you are old you see that there is much is in life that you cannot and you just don’t have the physical and emotional strength to even try the overcome most challenges – so your natural, your animal response is to get grumpy, to complain, to be negative, to see only what is wrong [and you’re usually right!] but fail to see what is right with the world. Are you such an animal? Or are you a human being, a spirit who like Prometheus is able to wrestle fire from the gods?
Let’s get practical now. Today I was talking with another older guy who wanted to help a car stuck in his driveway. If he had done so he most certainly would have injured himself – btw the same applies to me! I said: “Instead of pushing the car your job is to be a cheer leader yelling “Push hard!” Here are some more useful tips I found online.
Don’t whine Over Things You Have No Control – focus on the little things you can do.
Leave Criticism To Others – if you have nothing helpful to say, shut up.
Be a friend, make a friend – most GOMs are lonely, so don’t be one of them!
Find an activity you always wanted to do and DO IT – give yourself a challenge every day, do it, and then take a nap.
You have 1 mouth and 2 ears – use them in that God given ratio.
Perhaps then you instead of looking like the GOM at the top this article you can laugh like this guy – even if you have almost no teeth!
So, there you go . You can now successfully run the last lap of the race of life and win! Of course, to do that you cannot slip into “retirement brain” and become an unambitious, back seat driver, complaining couch potato – especially if you are often right about things. Given that you have survived to old age I expect that you would be often right about this beautiful mess we call life on Earth, but being right is really #2 on the list of what is important. #1 on the list is simple: don’t be grumpy, appreciate life, be grateful, smile and share your joy in life and then maybe, just maybe, your rants will turn into quiet and gentle heart felt conversations with a younger person who will appreciate and learn enough from you to make their life and the future world that you will not be a part of slightly better.
The guy on the right saying to his buddy on the left: “Do you still think I’m a grumpy old man?”
To which his buddy replies: “Yes, but you’re still my best friend.”
Oh yes, let us just submit, agree that the younger-and particularly younger women- are right, always right, and that we older men always are wrong, and have nothing to bring to the table, neither lived life, experience, or anything else that can be relevant in today World. I am so sorry, but I am annoyed by people who claim that they know it all, by spoiled brats who were brought up all pampered and expecting the world to be handed to them.To be frank, I believe that the whole woke vs Boomer thingy has gone out of hand, and that it has become accepted to have a go at old people. But let us face it: the world anno 2024 is not going particularly well, and no amount of young enthusiasm, or new tech-knowledge can change that. At least not alone. We need to pull together. But as long as I am looked down upon for being my age, I reserve my right to be grumpy.
At age 82, I do try not to be grumpy.